im so efffing bad at talking to people, especially guys. like in mtv, where the cool guys groom those nerdy guys with zero social skills to become the cool guys like themselves, I AM THAT SOCIALLY-IMPAIRED GUY!
i so need this!
hani, lis,
please guide me to the right path called
'Proper Talking Skills Highway'
instead of the
'Awkward Blabbing Talk Road'
that i am doomed to take!
My Sweet Baby - ONE OK ROCK
-----------------------------------------------
my baby, sweet baby
I see you smiling when I close my eyes
’cause I miss you, I need you right now
"tadaima" moroku ni ienakute gomen ne
never knew I’d make you feel lonely
kuchiguse no "tsukareta" mo boku wa iisugi dane…
kaeri wo matsu hou ga tsurai no ni…
and we’re back to screaming
sasai na koto de mata
can’t stop the rain
so tagai ni yuzurazu ni kigatsukeba
together again
’cause only you can drive me crazy
my baby, sweet baby oh
itsumo sunao ni dekinai boku wo
anata wa yasashiku tsutsunde kureru yuiitsu no hito dayo
do you believe in destiny
’cause I can’t deny, baby you and I
naze bokura ga koko ni iru no ka?
deau beki futari ga deatta to shitara bokura
donna konnan mo koereru ne?
tsugou yoku kangaete
mata kimi wo komarasete
sonna fuu ni kyou mo mata boku wa kimi ni amaesugi
’cause only I can drive you crazy
my baby, sweet baby tte kore kara mo saki isshou kimi ni
iitai!! tte boku wa kokoro karasou omou ndayo
naa baby, please tell me? oh
kotoba janakute ii kara
tada tonari de hohoen de kurereba sore dake de ii kara sa!!
the world’s in a hurry
bokura no jikan wa tomete okou
there’s nothing to worry
toki wa bokura wo tsuresare wa shinai yo
**********
one of my favourite songs
such a beautiful song.
& one ok rock, of course, RAWKS!
was dl-ing manga, then suddenly skipping to youtube for reason i cant remember.
then i watched this new video 'adventures of Goku' from mychonny.
http://www.youtube.com/user/mychonny
Chonny whom i absolutely adore! cos he's so funny!
in a very impudent & reckless way. and he's funny! =D
i love parodies, & he makes 'em real funny!
okay, im using too much of the word 'funny'... -.-
but he is Funny!
this guy here, chonny, is an australian & pretty much famous in the youtube circle, for his tongue-in-cheek humour (especially about asians).
like when he was commenting korean movies, he was like "what's the deal with koreans & rain? how come they always catch a cold after exposed to rain? ... are you allergic to rain? ... are you some kind of pokemon, like firemon?!"
what the..?! pokemon? tahahaha.
he's like a kid.
(ack, now i remember why i clicked to youtube in the 1st place. justin timberlake.)
+_+
lis & i walked to mcdonalds just now.
she wasof few words
so she forced me to talk. i didnt expect
to struggle, but i did.
minutes of stuttering words that were never voiced,
felt like decades to me.
i couldnt talk about anything at all.
is it me? or is it lis?
why am i not able to talk?
i'm used to this. to being silent. to not talk. not say what i think.
does it make me boring? lis asked "dont you want to be remembered?
u have to talk."
& yeah, thats what i have been complaining about.
i am never remembered.
then lis said that i wasnt ready yet.
that im still not mature yet.
i find it upsetting
there's no ground to compare ourselves with
but i know she's right.
i havent grown up at all.
i've always been that little girl,
sheltered by everyone
sheltered by my mind & thoughts
sheltered by the very perception of others
i have to change. i tell myself everyday.
& i have to keep telling myself every day
"grow up, little girl".
+_+
'cause rite after i woke up, i ate & ate & then decided to watch 'wanted' just cause i love james mcavoy.
watched a few of his movies [atonement, penelope] which deepens my infatuation for this lovely piece of work. thank you, mcavoy's mum. thank you, mcavoy's dad.
no thank you though, mcavoy's wife =(
so i wanted to give 'wanted' (no pun intended) a try.
angelina jolie looks really hawt in the poster. & morgan freeman's in it too. so i thought, heck, might not be so bad laa this mvie.
i was wrong.
it was bad
really really bad
really really really really bad
really bad it makes me wanna study my physics instead.
thats bad
but i still love james mcavoy (sorry alissa ;p)
+_+
i fell down yesterday. on the sidewalk beside the highway. when there were a lot of cars passing by.
embarassment.
even the polar bear's embarassed
apart from my pride, lol, i wasnt hurt at all. though i sprained my leg. it annoys me to no ends (!!!) that everytime i fall, i have to sprain my ankles. always. why cant i just scrap my knee or something?!
'cause this makes me miss my dad & mum alot.
when i sprained my ankle, my dad would massage my leg while my mum makes a big fuss about it. then i would beg my dad to cover my leg with bandages so it would look cool. i know, even when i was in Form 5... haha
Mum, Dad, Abang! I miss you so much! Wait for me to come back!!!
+_+
anyway, went to the mall yesterday and despite all the clothes shopping, i was unabashedly more excited that i bought 5 books for only $15!!! & proper books. not cincai books! lalalalala sadly no cheap mangas. but forgiven. 'cause nothing cheers me up more than bargain books! haaaah~
books, books and more books
honestly though, im not smitten by the act of reading a book. i just love being with a book. for all i know, the best sleep i ever had was when i was lying with my book.
once i slept in the library in this quiet little spot which i loved so much. well, the nicest nap i ever had. & also the dumbest 'cause i was supposed to study for my physics exam that i was supposed to take a few hours later.
my little aggie sanctuary
anyway after taht, and a couple more things, we decided to watch baby mama & the curious case of benjamin button. yep, another movie marathon.
we laughed for baby mama. but so much more for benjamin button.
------------
about a successful careerwoman who cant conceive so she opts for a surrogate mum program, turns out the surrogate mum is a psycho child in a woman's body, so to speak.subsequently, they happened to live together, do the pregnancy tutorials stuff together, and try to get along lalala together.
kinda around that line.
baby mama was good. it was funny. and tina fey and amy poehler are really dramatic. which makes it funny. but i was not in my best mood while watching it, so it remains forgettable for me.
------
the curious case of benjamin button is however, yes, curious. curious as to why we stuck on watching it. curious as to why we didnt get tons of wrinkles from watching that 3-hour movie.
curious, yes, curious indeed.
it's practically about this clockmaker who has a wife and a perfect son, who gets called to the army. then he died in action. the clockmaker, so devastated, made a clock that runs anti clockwise so that "time may run backwards. and those who died in war may come back to their home and live a proper life."
suddenly jump to a baby who looks dang-ugly. the dad couldnt stand the sight of it and left it in front of an old age home. there, that baby was named benjamin and grew up looking really old. there, he also met a pretty young girl who we already know, duh, he's gonna fall in love with. so the story practically goes with him living his life and chasing that pretty girl he loved so much, all the while looking younger. til at last, he died as a young baby.
all of this was told with the style of this lady reading an old diary of benjamin button to an old lady (in the hospital throughout the whole movie), who turns out to be the pretty girl whom benjamin loved, and the lady who read it their daughter.
well, it would have been a pretty unique story to me had i not watched it with friends who are pro bullshitting. & damn they were good.
when the part where the old lady reveals to her daughter that benjamin was her dad, and my friend said, the old lady's gonna say "your father is one of the babies outside there in the pediatric ward!!!".
we were LOL-ing all over!
then another scene where the daughter, shocked, said that she doesnt want to read the book anymore, but wants to know where her father is, this same friend said "awww just read the ending of the diary...". LOL
it's alrite laa if you dont expect too much from the movie.
& oh ya, it's really nice to see a young brad pitt. ;)
watch at your own perils, (or wrinkles i might say)
------
then today i watched a movie starring the other half of the jolie-pitt partnership, which is entitled Changeling.
very disturbing, to say the very least. mostly 'cause it's graphic and detailed. & it's based on a true story. not too good.
about a woman, Christine Collins who found her son Walter missing after she went back from work one day. Seeking help from the LAPD force, she was finally relieved when they found her boy only to realise that the boy given to her was not her own son.
---
damn depressing!
christine's pains, i can feel it so much it makes me dont want to have kids at all. tsk tsk
-----
come to think of it,
these continuous movie marathons are also very very very depressing.
+_+
HAVE TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!!
HEY YOU!
DONT EAT ALL THE TIME!
DONT SLEEP ALL THE TIME!
Certainly my highlight for today is when i finally manage to complete the readings of this famous novel.
Being an obscene fan of anything japanese, i eventually came across the Gothic-Lolita fashion so prominently featured in the country itself. But what is Lolita? Wikipedia helped alot here.
I found out that Lolita is a novel about an adult man's unhealthy obsession and love for a young 12 year-old girl. In fact, it is so famous that the word 'Lolita' is now a general term for young sexually-matured girls. Much like Colgate is to toothpaste,
It sounds sick, but I still wanted to read it for own's sake.
I find it, to my surprise, a very romantic and sad reading. It has very subtle sexual connotations, thank you very much, and concentrates more on the feelings and thoughts of the protagonists.
-----
The novel is seen from a first-view perspective of an european man named Humbert Humbert *...*, who had acquired a silent longing for pretty young girls whom he called nymphets, after the failure to copulate with his childhood sweetheart Annabel. Venturing to the States, by a twist of fate, he came to live with a female lodger Charlotte Haze and her nymphet daughter Dolores, whom he fell in love at first sight with. Dolores, affectionately named Lolita by Humbert, was such an object of extreme desire and love for the man, that he married Charlotte just to have dear Lolita closer. Soon came the day Charlotte found out about his unhealthy affections for her daughter only to have met an untimely death in an accident. Humbert then became a sole guardian to Lolita and were eventually lovers due to Lolita's curiosity and willingness to engage in such relationship. Even though he had to deal with Lolita's childish demands, furious tempers and complaints for an ordinary life, Humbert was blissful with this lifestyle which lasted until she was 14 years old. And one day, Lolita ran away. Humbert lived in misery for years awaiting for her return. As soon as he gave up, his precious daughter sent a letter telling of her marriage, pregnancy and urgernt need for money. The father came, intending to murder her for betraying him, but could not for he love her so. He begged her to come back but she refused. The story ends when the sad and longing Humbert Humbert was sent to a mentai institution after killing the man who took Lolita away from him.
------
Well, it may not be accurate, after all i just finished it. but if there's anything wrong i hope someone corrects me. Nabokov is indeed a very descriptive writer and I find this novel a hard read. But it was a very beautiful read.
Nabokov describes well the extent of fury and love that Humbert had for Lolita.
Among my favourite line was when Humbert Humbert asked Lolita to come back to him and she adamantly said that if she would, she would only run away, and with the same person whom she had loved
"He broke my heart. You (referring to Humbert) merely broke my life."
after such such such a lazy saturday,
we went for a brisk walk to great wall of china. a chinese buffet =, contrary to your belief. & nothing stands to interest there so skip it.
decided to hava midnight movie marathon. LAME, you scream? yes it is. but we watched
keeping the curious case of benjamin button for tomorrow.
-planning to watch crazy amounts of movies during this summer. i'm not really fond of the feeling you get when everyone around you incredulously said "what?! you've never watched this movie? what era did u live in?"-
+_+
'may be the force be with you'
^now i have to read 'da vinci code' and 'angels & demons' by dan brown.^
^now i have to read about the history of Roman Catholic & Christianity^
^now i have to research on the beautiful monuments in Italy^
^now, i have to uuurgh read about antimatter and etc etc^
^effing yeah, now i HAVE to go Italy^
-----------
just have our usual long random chats, me hani lis, about ..... hmm .... which eventually leads to conflicts in the middle-east
^now i have to read up about these^
----------
i love moments when i have to eat my own words. *read last post*
i am a KID. i know nothing of the world.
i hate being the "errr..." and "umm..." in a conversation.
let's start changing this.
+_+
if i say "everything is possible" or "when there's a will, there's a way", does that instantly mean im a idealist? i sound silly, but does it mean im a child tucked in a little crib of my own? i fear not.
i may be of less experience than about 99% of the worldwide population. but who daresay that i have not seen anything in my 18 years of life? by dismissing my words, deny my 18 years of bloom. but be so a brainless twat.
i am just bluntly optimistic. i've seen things happen that are supposed to be impossible and yet come true. i know wishing for things do not stay in dreams only, it can also appear in reality. now, is that not realistic? when i have seen the sun-lit meadow and not the gloomy alley as you have been accustomed to? maybe i did not tread my foot on your alley, and you have not on my meadow. is my experience still invaluable compared to yours?
true, you can be pessimistic at times. and whine. but isnt being optimistic lovelier? it's like a kaleidoscope of the mind. being optimistic brews beautfiul images in the mind from ordinary thoughts and sentiments. it's my choice to be optimistic but a realist. than be a depressingly pessimistic realist.
dont push off what i said as mere child's talk. yes, i may be the child in this crooked connection. but who are you to judge the worth of my words without a thought?
+_+
"You're My Pet"
i got stuck reading this. when i was a few inches from my bed. sleepy.
anything that can prevent me from sleeping is, i tell you, a very big deal. tahaha
anyway this manga, also known as 'Reaching You' is such a cute cute story. it ranks with 'koukou debut' and 'lovely complex', in my opinion. not too sugary & annoyingly impossible, just a simple cute shoujo.
*kimi ni todoke is about kuronema sawako, a quiet girl with long black hair & depressing appearance, who is feared by people due to scary rumours about her (not forgetting her depressing appearance). her nickname is sadako (please tell me you've heard of that name). even though she is kind and thoughtful and does not have the ability to sense ghost (as the rumours said), nobody dared to talk to her... until the popular boy kazehaya shouta befriended her.*
i was planning to have a good nite sleep. but now it's already 4.40 am & im still not asleep. why?
cos i spent one whole day watching 'kimi wa petto' staring koyuki & matsumoto jun (rawr!)
cos i got caught up reading shoujo manga 'kimi ni todoke' aka 'reaching you' by mangaka karuho shiina
such a happy happy day for me.
my idea of a perfect day.
+_+
- tom cruise for 'jerry maguire'. one of my fave movie moments.give me my allowance! give me my allowance! give me my allowance!
im so tempted to call PCT & tell her "we're dying from swine flu. if we dont get any money, we cant pay the hospital bills... cough cough..."
lots of lame jokes for a day.
american idol 8 finale is dawning upon us now.
adam lambert kicks ass, man!
in the first part
lambert sang 'mad world' with a vampiristic touch, which i thought was bloody cool.
allen sang 'aint no sunshine' which was also amazing with his piano & sultry voice.
round winner = allen
in the 2nd part,
lambert sang 'change is gonna come'. amaaaaaaaaaazing! really, when he pulled that big voice of his, everyone dies!
allen sang 'whats going on' by marvin gaye. it's his element, & bak kat simon cowell 'too laidback for this stage of competition'
round winner = 1 million percent lambert
in the final part,
both have to sing a newly-composed song by kara diogardi, 'no boundaries'.
the song so obviously fits only allen's vocal. (& even then, allen's vocal limit is too low for that song)
lambert sang it pretty well, but it's just not his element bhaaa~ not fair dowh~
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
who will win american idol & be in the same rank as my own david cook? ;p
effing hope it's adam lambert!!!
+_+
-drumroll please-
"ADAM LAMBERT"
Lambert is one of the two finalist for the 8th season of American Idol. While the other, Kris Allen, is known for his down-to-earth, humble, (sleepy) performance, Lambert rawksss! His vocal is of the 70s rock & roll era, boundless range he has, & the flamboyance of his performance blew me off my skirt! literally~
Well, of course when i first saw him, my physical-judgemental brain screamed "aiseh, this mamat look so gay, sound so gay..."
but once i heard him singing, i was like "What?! he's gay?!! nooooo..."
*his controversial pics* - warning, homophobics -
dang it~
& apparently, when asked about a female co-star he says, “I’ve gotten to kiss those lips, and although it’s not my preference,” and he pauses so the audience can chuckle.
isnt that cute? tahahahaha~
+_+
we were talking just now, alissa, hani & me.
damn damning that i failed my physics. for my online homeworks which were below 70%, my wonderful professor has given me a beautiful F. how am i gonna answer to my sponsor, dui..
so alissa said hey, american grading's different bah.. A is Awesome, B is Best, D is Dang-it, F is Fantastic! & C is Ceebye. lol. & yeah, american grading has no E.
hooray to the day i tell my sponsor i got Best & Fantastic grades!
anyway, we were laughing like crack again when hani said *randomly* brown offers bachelor in engineering. & alissa spelt the acronym, B eng, Bachelor of engineering. B E N G. & i was like, B.e.n.g? Beng? hahah you come back to malaysia & got a beng?
tahahahah such childish joy.
well in tamu, u get a Bachelor of Science for engineering instead. BS. bull shit u said? well said!
+_+
